Tuesday, June 2, 2009
In my mother’s presence
Psychologists say that a child continues to live in me in spite of my having grown to become an adult. My subconscious mind belongs to the child in me. My conscious mind developed as I grew to become an adult. Although the subconscious mind is hidden deep under, it is what controls my day-to-day life. I often think like an adult, but I often feel life a child because my feelings are mostly governed by my subconscious mind.
The feelings of safety and belongingness are my basic emotional necessities, and being in my mother’s presence, I could easily satisfy these needs. I always felt safe and secure, and I felt a sense of belongingness in my mother’s presence. The child in me still needs my mother to feel safe and secure. My mother accepts me as I am. My very existence depended on my mother’s acceptance of me. When I fell down (in every sense) she ran to me, and helped me to be on my feet again. When others looked down on me due to my handicaps, she always encouraged me to keep going.
I heard from my childhood that parents are visible gods. Today I think I understand what it means. God is my creator and my nurturer. I received the nurturing of God through my parents. When my mother satisfied my physical, mental, and emotional needs, she was acting on God’s behalf. This is true of all mammals. The mothers of all mammals act as a vehicle of God’s nurturing.
A baby is born fully dependant on his/her parents. A human baby cannot survive if no one takes care of the baby. A baby has basic necessities to be satisfied. A baby has physical needs as well as emotional needs. Along with breast milk, a baby also receives love. Love is the food of emotional health. A mother is willing to sacrifice even her own life for an offspring. Such love has its source in God.
My mother is not physically present with me today to satisfy my emotional needs any more, and at times the child in me craves for her presence. When people look down on me because of my handicaps, I crave for my mother’s presence. Whenever I face challenges in life, I crave for the encouraging words of my mother. When I feel sick and whenever I am in pain, I long for the soothing touch and comforting voice of my mother.
This is where the adult in me comes to the aid of the child in me. The child in me, with his subconscious mind, does not know the difference between real and imaginary. Whenever the child in me longs for my mother, the adult in me imagines her presence. This technique in meditation is often called visualization. Thus if the adult in me consciously imagines my mother and myself as a child on her lap, it satisfies the child in me, and my emotional needs will be fulfilled.
Another part of my conscious mind accuses me to be a liar for cheating myself this way. Then a higher part of my conscious mind comes to my rescue arguing that although my mother appears to be no more, she is really alive in another dimension. I am not cheating myself when I imagine myself to be with my mother.
A still higher part of my conscious mind argues that when I imagine my mother, it is really God I am trying to imagine. Even when my mother was alive, she was God’s vehicle through which I received my needs. Now when I imagine my mother, I am really ascribing my mother’s form to the formless God. Someone reading this may ask me: What if my mother is still alive? Can I still ascribe her form to God? My answer is an emphatic “yes” because a mother is a visible God.
What will happen if all people start seeing God in their mothers? We will have a new generation of people who are emotionally healthy. We will have stronger families in which parents are respected and loved, and children are loved and nurtured.
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